Kangaroo Care

I could barely contain my excitement as I waltzed into the NICU today. Sam's nurse and I shared pleasantries and she gave me updates on him. The bilious fluid is still appearing, but still not excessive, so no antibiotics will be administered. He has not started feeding yet, much to the chagrin of everyone. Otherwise, his respirator settings are still awesome, and he is still not on any medication other than caffeine (to help his breathing).

Now came the time I had been waiting for: kangaroo care.

Kangaroo care is when a parent holds baby on his/her chest. This treatment is especially useful for premature babies, because laying on your chest is the closest the baby will get to being in the womb. It's comforting for both parties. 

I was told to wear a shirt that opened in the front, so I wore a button down shirt and a tank top. The nurse brought me a comfy chair and pillows, and instructed me to take off my yellow NICU gown and get comfortable. Then, she and another nurse disconnected some of Sam's tubes, lifted him out of his incubator, and placed him safely on my chest. His legs were tucked into my shirt, and they taped his respirator tubes to my shoulder so they wouldn't move. They put a hat on his head and covered us both in a blanket, and let us be. 

I held him for two hours, and for that two hours...it was pure bliss. He only fidgeted once or twice - for the most part, he slept. A few times, he opened his eyes and looked directly up at me. His vitals stayed consistent and, if I may say, awesome for the entire time I held him. I soon became accustomed to his breathing, and could even feel little hiccups or reflexes here and there. 

He was placed back into his incubator when it came time for his vitals. I was able to help with that too! I learned how to take his temperature today. I also changed his diaper, which contained his first passing of meconium (a dark, greenish black secretion). He handled the diaper changing really well, considering I couldn't get that tiny diaper in place for the life of me. Finally, I gave him his comfort swab. He really, really enjoys that swab! 

Did you know they have preemie pacifiers? That's what that green plastic thing is.

The nurse wrapped him back up so he would be cozy, and he knocked out, looking even more peaceful than I had ever seen him. 

Today was a big step for me as a mom. I had felt quite helpless up to this point. Sure, I could pump my breast milk, but I didn't feel like I could tend to him the way a mother would. Coming home after delivery sans pregnancy or baby is also a bizarre feeling, best described as feeling like a piece of you has been ripped out. Playing a part in his care, even if it's something like taking his temperature, makes me feel like a real parent. And holding him made me feel like that missing piece was back in place. I felt complete. I still do. I'm riding this high long after returning home. 

I suspect both Sam and I will sleep very, very well tonight. 

As Sam continues to fight, so shall I.