Last night at around 9:00 pm, they began putting super small amounts of breast milk into his feeding tube. I am told he is tolerating it pretty well so far! Getting him to a point where he can eat is a big step forward. The milk will help him grow, and also delivers antibodies made specifically for him also. (I recommend reading about the milk produced by mothers of premature babies - really interesting stuff!)
He's always got one foot out of his comfort wrap
He does not have the bilious fluid coming out of his belly anymore, and as a result they stopped his intermittent suction. He did have a few episodes of Brady desats yesterday morning. Brady desats are when his blood oxygen and heart rate drop. The nurse said he only requires a little intervention and comes right out of the episode. I was also told that he hasn't had any episodes since yesterday morning, which is fantastic.
The nurse made the CUTEST picture for him for New Years. The snowmen are made from his tiny footprints! I didn't even realize he was big enough to have his footprint taken, and I'm pleased his skin is a bit tougher now and able to handle it. I'm saving this decoration, partially for his scrapbook, and partially so I can take the footprints to my tattoo artist as part of the tattoo I am getting for Sam. I will not be divulging the details of that until it's actually done :)
We did kangaroo care again, and boy does he love it - I love it too. I held him for three hours today and it was simply incredible. I thought I would feel more giddy or excited when I hold him, but in actuality, I feel an extreme sense of peace. I almost fell asleep while holding him, but realized that probably wasn't a good idea. I have plenty of time to cuddle with him and sleep when he gets bigger.
Sam did well up until the nurses took him off my chest, at which point he began to cry and wave his right hand as if to admonish everyone for ruining his comfort. It's not easy to watch him cry, but he recovered from it fairly quickly. I also got to change his diaper again, by myself this time, and other than him trying to escape my grip he did pretty well. He fell asleep when all was said and done.
My first true realization that I am a mother hit me when I was holding him today. It just washed over me out of nowhere. I suddenly was able to fathom that the tiny being I was cradling in my hands is my son, and that I am responsible for his care (to an extent for now, moreso when he leaves the hospital). I knew logically that I am a mom, but today it felt like my spirit caught up to my brain.
I also decided to purchase myself a diaper bag, which even further solidified my "oh my gosh I'm a parent" feeling. I have to carry pump supplies, paperwork, empty bottles, toiletries, and other assorted items back and forth to the NICU, and it just makes sense to have a bag compartmentalized specifically for baby needs.
It was another good day today.
As Sam continues to fight, so shall I.
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