Merry Christmas!

We went to visit Sam for his first Christmas today, and behold - the blue light was gone!! He started off with two lights. They took him down to one the past two days, and this morning removed them both. I was overjoyed to see he no longer needed the light. This also meant they could take his eye mask off, and he looked much calmer and happier today as a result.

He's so tiny, you can't even see him in the incubator!

We didn't stay very long. His oxygen levels were good today, mostly in the 90s. He's also gained some weight; not quite back to birth weight yet, but super close now. He does still have some of the bile in his mouth, but it's very little at this point. They're suctioning it out for now. He slept most of the time we were there, other than when the nurse tried to change his diaper and take his vitals. That's when he kicked his legs straight out and delivered a few of his famous punches. I couldn't help but laugh at that!

I've actually had to grapple with my feelings about some of the nurses the past few days. To be fair, I feel like all of them take very, very good care of him. It just seemed, especially during night shift, that they did not spend an awful lot of time watching him - they always seemed to be with another baby. At first, that bothered me. I wanted to know why they weren't near my son more often. After giving it some thought, I realized that this is probably a good thing. More often than not he is holding steady, which probably means the nurses can leave him be and devote their time to other babies that require more attention and care. 

It was good to see his cute little face more clearly now without the encumbrance of the mask. I also enjoyed seeing him so relaxed. The nurse had him pretty closely contained and in darkness, which is a pretty good simulation of the womb. 

Our first Christmas wasn't what I imagined it would be - it was far, far better. 

As Sam continues to fight, so shall I.